Hip Momma

Dueling Desires

hipmomma — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 16:40:00 +0000

A couple months ago, I was horrified to hear my 2-year-old daughter excitedly yell, “Fah! Fah!” She wanted to see her dad’s books about Fah, also known as Favre, as in Brett Favre of the Green Bay Packers.

To distract her from the green and gold, I pointed her to red. Yes, I did what any good mother would’ve done and instantly bought her something girly — the Annie DVD.

Within a couple days, “Addee! Addee!” had replaced “Fah! Fah!” My girl couldn’t get enough of those adorable orphans jumping on their beds complaining about their hard knock lives.

However, it didn’t take long for the Favre fascination to return. Now the little one has dueling desires: Favre and Annie. Just yesterday I introduced her to a girl named Dorothy. Maybe if Annie can’t tackle Brett, Dorothy and her pals Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion can.

Proclaim Your Prediction Here

hipmomma — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 21:06:05 +0000

Some friends of mine recently called to share their baby predictions with me. Do you have a prediction about Hip Momma’s baby? Feel free to proclaim it here.

Alex, June 10, Girl

Angie, June 12, Girl

Ann, June 13 ??

Hip Momma, June 14 ??

Mary, June 16, Boy

Chubby Hubby, June 20, Girl

Denny, June 20, Girl

Jerome, July 2, Boy

Tell Me Your Dreams

hipmomma — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 02:27:51 +0000

I mean that in a very PG way. As a momma who is expecting, I seem to have all kinds of wild thoughts at night. Again, I mean that in a very PG way. Last week, I had a dream I delivered a healthy baby, and my body was back to normal. I was visiting an elite boutique that was open only to ”special guests.” I’m not sure how I made the V.I.P. list. I was particularly excited about purchasing a new bra. To make the experience even more delectable, the fancy ladies who ran the shoppe were serving mimosas and blueberry crumb cake.

I’ve had plenty of other memorable pregnacy dreams. Once I dreamed the hospital was full so I delivered at an eye doctor’s office. The baby arrived with a full set of teeth. Another time, the baby began walking just weeks after birth.

So, tell me some of your pregnancy (or non-pregnancy) dreams. And, please, keep it PG.

What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Momma

hipmomma — Sun, 27 May 2007 03:51:39 +0000

When my nearest and dearest friend was expecting her first child, my godson, I made a remark I truly regret. After seeing my friend for the first time in several weeks, I exclaimed, “Oh my god! You’re ____ing huge!” I have since apologized several times. Thankfully, my friend was forgiving. Karma, however, wasn’t.

I’ve received (or overheard) several unflattering comments during my pregnancies. Here is just a sample:

Your stomach’s so squishy! Feel it, you guys, it’s squishy!

Wow! You’re much larger this time around!

Turn around. Let me see you from the back.

There’s a really pregnant woman in heels.

Don’t take this the wrong way, but your stomach is huge.

Whoa!

You’ve got to be due any time. There can’t be any room in there.

Transition Report (TR)

hipmomma — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 21:33:35 +0000

Since I’ve returned to work, I try to spend every free moment playing with my daughter instead of blogging on my computer. Call it a mother’s guilt. Still, I promise to resume posting. I know so many of you turn to Hip Momma for a quick pick-me-up.

Hello? Is anybody reading this?

I felt a Transition Report (TR) was necessary to update you on how our household is adjusting. First, I’m learning a whole lot of new acronyms at my job. I’ve concluded that people use them not to save time, but to feel important.

The hubster plays a very convincing Desperate Househusband. He’s started yoga and meets regularly with the girls for poker and margaritas. Seriously, he has successfully juggled his husband/father/work roles. I’m proud of him.

The little girl is thriving! She joins me for lunch regularly. She’s particularly fond of the french fries, chips and milk available at our campus cafeteria.

That concludes my brief TR. I’ll be writing again soon!

New Job

hipmomma — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 01:59:32 +0000

My time as an at-home momma is almost up. After a year off, I’m returning to the working world.

I bought new clothes and new shoes. The freezer is full of casseroles. I even picked up a special toy to occupy my sweet pea that first day apart. It might seem like I’m ready for this transition, but I’m not.

As excited as I am about this career opportunity, there’s no job I’d rather have than raising my girl. I’d rather hear my daughter trying to sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” than ringing phones and clicking keyboards. I’d rather deal with temper tantrums than work conflicts. I’d rather make her smile than a client.

Nope, I’m not ready for this transition. And I doubt I’ll be ready for the next one… whatever that may be. Please, wish me luck. More importantly, wish my husband luck. He’s taking over my job and has very big shoes to fill. At least I think so.

Song of Summer

hipmomma — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 17:40:06 +0000

Hip Momma was quite the event planner over the summer. From lap sits at the library to puppet shows in the park, our calendar was full of fun. OK, who the heck am I kidding? Some of those events were downright depressing.

The social season started and ended on flat note…

In June, I encouraged the family to attend a Flag Day concert at the nearby bandshell. The band was so terrible, my hubby was actually embarrassed for the trio on stage. What really made us cringe was the Louis Armstrong impersonation. The lead singer’s copycat version of “What a Wonderful World” was hideously bad.

In August, our daughter and I were at a kiddie program at the mall. I gasped when the same band performed under another name! The only difference: the balding keyboard player was replaced by a bear dressed like Elvis.

So in a way, I’m ready to say so long to summer event planning. I’m certainly ready to say see ya to Mike and the Resistors A.K.A. The Teddy Bear Band.

My Love Affair with Shoes

hipmomma — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 15:40:07 +0000

I remember one of my first pairs of shoes: brown sandals with smiley-faced ice cream cones one them. Jelly shoes followed about five years later. In high school, I had a pair of gold lame’ pumps to go with my gold lame’ prom dress (go ahead, laugh here). Not too long ago, a friend and I bought matching leopard print slingbacks on Rodeo Drive. I’ve even started collecting those frivolous mini-shoes.

I’m disappointed, shocked, and saddened to find my daughter despises shoes.

I made a desperate attempt to change her mind a couple weeks ago by taking her shoe shopping. I hoped my excitement would be contagious, but it wasn’t. Instead of ooo-ing and ahh-ing at shoes, my girl was tossing around a golf ball she’d found on the ground.

I ended up selecting a cute pair of Strawberry Shortcake sandals that light up with every step. Not even the flash captures my girl’s attention. Every time I tell her to look at her feet, she stops walking and the lights stop lighting.

Yes, my daughter may hate shoes now. But I’m not giving up yet.

Things That Make Her Go Mmmm

hipmomma — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 01:13:37 +0000

A few weeks ago, mmmm meant moo. Now, it either equals moo or “I want some some milk.” Here are a few more examples of my daughter’s evolving and complex language:

When she wrinkles her nose and blows in and out, it means she sees flowers somewhere. When she yells, “Dah-ee!” it means she’s looking for either her daddy or her ducky. When she says, “Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!” it means she’s in a good mood.

Although I took both German and Spanish classes back in the day, I’m much better at understanding toddler talk. I guess it’s because my girl is a more demanding teacher. Unlike Frau Orr or profesor Jacobs, she threatens to scream, cry, and kick.

How to Tick Off a Toddler

hipmomma — Sun, 02 Jul 2006 22:25:40 +0000

As we celebrate our nation’s independence, it’s appropriate I write about this topic. You see, I’ve realized how to tick off a toddler: take away his or her freedom.

I goofed by giving my child too much freedom and then taking some back. For example, I allowed my daughter to empty the TV cabinet several times a day. Tapes and DVDs had a way of ending up everywhere. So, Grandpa recently installed locks on the cabinet. That didn’t go over so well.

I also frequently permitted the peanut to eat (and spill!) snacks all over the place. It was common to hear a crunch with every step. I’m sure it was a painless death for all those Teddy Grahams and Goldfish. Still, I couldn’t resist when I discovered dishes that stopped spills. A cover with a rubber flap allows little hands in, but keeps treats from falling out. That didn’t go over so well.

I guess it makes sense. No one likes having freedom taken away. I just don’t erupt into a tearful, snot-filled rage when it happens.